Bulgari Man Rain Essence
Bulgari (2023)

Rain Essence is a soft subtle fragrance with some presence, matching the 'Essence' moniker quire well.
No bombastic sillage, no punch in the face opening, just a soft genderless aura.
The heartnotes permeate very well featuring the crystal musk - reminiscent of Le Labo's AnOther 13.
Overall a fragrance that wears close to the skin, and gives off beautiful soft glow.

Bvlgari Man Rain Essence by Bvlgari (2023), more like Bvlgari Man Pain Essence, amirite ladies? This stuff is by far not the finest hour for Alberto Morillas, who has somehow slugged it out through most of these flankers in the Bvlgari Man (2010) line. Some folks may note that this smells a bit like someone tweaked Jacques Cavallier-Belletrud's work in Bvlgari pour Homme Extrême by Bvlgari (1999), and he did used to work for Firmenich like Morillas still does, before going off to be house perfumer for Louis Vuitton; so I wouldn't be surprised if Morillas touched up that formula since Bvlgari discontinued it some time ago. Other than that interesting little twist, there isn't much here besides sheer musks, some irritating "picklewood" surrounded by tonka-tea, and dry white florals crowned by astringent citruses. Doesn't sound so bad does it? Well wrong, it is bad, so very bad. Alberto Morillas should learn to just say no, he's the top dog there at the big F anyway, why can't he?

The opening of Rain Essence is the most interesting part, as you get some of that tea with mandarin and lots of buzzy acetate things that can give one a headache if you overdo it. Paradisone like what Morillas used with Harry Freemont in cK All by Calvin Klein (2017) is here, alongside some ambroxan and that nasty picklewood sandalwood crap, before we get to the guaiac wood base, which is more ambermax-type sandpaper nose irritant garbo than anything else to be honest. I swear it feels like Alberto composed this on a lunch break by feeding the AI composer at Firmenich a bunch of cliff-notes he scribbled onto a napkin he had lying around, before going back to Mizensir to make an actual fragrance someone would want to wear. What any of this has to do with rain is absolutely beyond my ability to comprehend, that's for sure. Performance? Who cares? You won't want to smell this for long. Better than bad, but not good. You want an itch you can't scratch? Wear this.

Bottom line here, is this not only feels like a lukewarm retread of better work, but one that is almost seemingly made to be purposefully worse (yet ultimately more expensive to buy) than what it is playing a back-handed homage towards, showcasing that the late-stage capitalism corporate race-to-the-bottom has hit terminal velocity. At least Bvlgari Man Glacial Essence by Bvlgari (2020) had the decency to be mediocre but pleasant, like a more-expensive overly-wrought attempt to improve on a random Nautica fragrance you could buy at HomeGoods for $20, in case you wanted an extra $100 on the pricetag for effectively the same fragrance. This isn't even -that- good, and really just has me running away screaming from the ghost of Le Labo Santal 33 (2011) long before I can complain about the rest. Essentially terrible, as I wasn't fond of Bvlgari pour Homme Extrême anyway, but at least I didn't mind it. Here with Rain Essence, I couldn't wait to wash it off. Thumbs down