David Beckham Classic Touch
Beckham (2018)

From the makers of
Celebrity Chemicals
Comes New and Improved

Football Chemicals
A pleasant variation
Upon Coumarin

In admixture with
Precious limonene, also
Known as the fougère

Perhaps skeletal
But a fougère nonetheless
Particularly

In the presence of
Detectable lavender.
Then just add clear fruits

A.k.a. esters
Those ethereal ketones
(Ain't nature just grand?)

And you're almost there.
That's cuz Football Chemicals
Flanker number n

Doth also contain
Some buttery-faceted
Pop aromachem

That's also found in
Black-Hatted Country Music
Husband Chemicals

(Not to be confused
With similar chemicals
Of unpaired nature

Vis-à-vis the wife.)
This then lightly spiced melange
(Whatever "spice" is,

Possibly just some
Raspy facets in faux wood)
Is given some musk

Which adds pleasant warmth
And (upon too many wears)
A nice TOUCH of skank

(Perhaps then passing
For leather in certain ways)
And thus completing

My fond impressions
Of one more great flanker of
Football Chemicals

Which apparently
Was created by the great
Nathalie Lorson

Thereby explaining
Why this fifteen-buck fragrance
Smells more like fifty.

On that note we end
What is perhaps my greatest
Abuse of haiku

But to make quite sure
We add flaming lacquerware
In a brook in spring.