Eternity Cologne for Men
Calvin Klein (2020)

Calvin Klein has been scraping creative rock bottom for a few years now, there's no getting past that. The decades of insipid seasonal flankers to their best-selling classics and endless focus group experiments like Euphoria Men (2006), Encounter (2012), and Obsessed for Men (2017) have most guys thinking all they know how to do is cannibalize their own past successes and throw stuff at the wall to see what sticks beyond that. Other designers have jumped on the bandwagon with the prestige tier psuedo-niche lines like Exclusif this or Prive that, but not Calvin Klein, who instead sticks to their populist guns thinking people still want some plain-ass underwear with Calvin's name on them because Mark Wahlberg once wore them on a billboard. I mean hey, I like Calvin Klein a lot, but I gotta give tough love where it's due and it's way overdue here with Eternity Cologne for Men (2020). I'm guessing Calvin Klein is showing up 30 years late to the "be like Chanel" party by having three major concentrations of your best-selling masculine marquee, adding a cologne version alongside the original Edt and Eternity for Men Eau de Parfum (2019). I think Calvin Klein missed the part about them all having to smell good.

We see another focus group exercise, with three Mane perfumers in the form of Ralph Schweiger, Véronique Nyberg, and Julie Masse, on board with Eternity Cologne. Schwieger is probably the fan favorite since he helped Charenton Macerations with Christopher Street (2012), but Nyberg helped with the ever-popular Paco Rabanne Invictus (2013), so it can't be all that bad right? Wrong. This opens with the scantest trace of the original Eternity for Men (1989) DNA, showing off some of the aldehydes and sweetened lavender/geranium mix of the original sans the calone 1951, replaced by juniper. The sharp juniper informs what's to come in the heart, as cardamom and some fuzzy metallic mineral nuances bring in the "cologne freshness" before the base of ambroxan, oakmoss, and a woody amber called lorenox show up. That last one is a Mane captive molecule you only get from working with them, and in true Calvin Klein spirit with showcasing synthetics, lorenox is the star of the dry down. You get a clean fuzzy citric marine sort of mineral musk with nondescript woodiness as the finish. Boring. Wear time is decent at eight hours, and sillage is moderate, so that's okay I guess. Best use is in summer for casual wear, but you can really do a whole lot better even within the stable of Calvin Klein with stuff like Truth Men (2002) or cK All (2017) for modern fresh aromatic and citric hot weather use.

The EdP of Eternity for Men seemed like an unnecessary exercise that adds zero value to the line, and this cologne is even more unnecessary for much the same reason. At least the EdP had enough DNA from the original Eternity to feel somewhat like a proper EdP of it even if the base was clearly different, but here we have what is effectively Eternity translated as a modern ambroxan freshie, and not even a proper "cologne" style a la what Chanel and Dior have done with their respective cologne flankers for the Allure Homme (1999) and Dior Homme (2005) ranges respectively. Even when copying someone else's successful model, Calvin Klein manages to inject just enough detachment and benign neglect to the final product that it feels just as awkward as say Calvin Klein cK One Shock for Him Street Edition (2012), which was a flanker of a flanker that itself was a "shocking" gendered take on a unisex fragrance line that tried so hard to be cool that it felt like Steve Buscemi carrying a skateboard in 30 Rock saying "hello fellow kids". The fact either of the cK One Shock for Him (2011) masculines smelled good was a happy accident. No such happy accidents here I'm afraid. You may see this much differently than I, so I suggest sampling at a counter, at least for the time being. If you can't test it anymore for free by the time you catch this review, don't bother. Thumbs down.