Florabotanica
Balenciaga (2012)

Florabotanica by Balenciaga (2012) doesn't seem to be much liked in the online fragrance community; but then again, Balenciaga has long been shunned by the online collector's space for discarding its legacy in perfume, one that was once counted among pillars of the designer space like Chanel, Patou, or DIor. In addition, the brand's revolving-door ownership since Cristobal's passing in the early 70's has seen some of the most-coveted vintage men's fragrance releases both come onto, then leave the market without so much as a warning, creating a "house of unicorns" much like anything Gucci released for men before 2011. This has the usual highfalutin' tastemakers who each nabbed 37 bottles of every flavor each when they were all still $15 a pop on eBay talking tired soapbox nonsense about how perfume peaked with Balenciaga Ho Hang (1971) or Balenciaga pour Homme (1990), while everyone else grits their teeth at $500 eBay prices per bottle today and wonders why the house doesn't grab money left on the table by re-issuing them or making something new. Hell, even the recent women's selections made since Coty took over the license have seemingly entered the market, then exited just as fast, like Balenciaga is forever cursed to not keep any perfume around long enough for people to actually figure out it exists, let alone see if it's any good. All this is before we even touch upon the scandals that plague the brand, causing people to write them off. Maybe you can nab one of the bottles of this so many people claimed to have trashed in protest, but I have a bit more dignity than to go dumpster diving for designer cast-offs. I set the bar pretty low as it is with my Avon obsession.

So about Florabotanica; yeah, it's discontinued. You sort of expect that these days though, as if the brand pre-discontinues them coming out of the factory, or basically makes everything a limited edition without calling it one. For that reason, don't get your knackers in a twist over this, although the collectors bitten by the FOMO virus won't listen to me anyway, running out to buy this at any price because they just GOTTA HAVE IT to brag about on Instagram, calling it a masterpiece because they have one and you don't. Ugh... so much hubris to sift through and we're not even on the smell of the fragrance yet! Anyway, this was composed by Olivier Polge and Jean-Christophe Hérault, the son of Chanel perfumer Jacques Polge famous among "fragheads" as the original composer of DIor Homme (2005), coupled with the student of Pierre Bourdon who in more recent years has been revealed to be the perfumer behind Creed Aventus (2010), one of the online community's biggest white whales in men's scent. Yet, what we have here is a very by-the-numbers fresh green stemmy rose. The mint is a novel way to open rose and gives Florabotanica a bit more unisex appeal, Galbanum and cis 3 hexanol notes are evident, giving big green energy to the scent, alongside a vase water rose note, mixed with pencil shavings cedar, vetiver, ambroxan, and a touch of carnation. A bit modern, a bit 70's in execution, but otherwise Florabotanica is pretty plain like a homely younger sister to Chanel Cristalle (1974). Performance is spectacular, but the singularity of the composition might grate the nerves if you're not a lover of green rose with a slight bitchy side to it. Expect 12 hours easily, and guys might dig this too.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with a plain green rose scent, as The Perfumer's Workshop proved fifty years prior with Tea Rose by The Perfumer's Workshop (1973), then Diptyque proved again a decade later with L'Ombre Dans L'Eau by Diptyque (1983). After that, green stemmy rose fragrances fell out of fashion in favor of big-boned rose patchouli or rose leather scents, until the demand for dainty or more photorealistic rose perfumes came 'round again with Cabaret de Grès by Parfums Grès (2002). Tack another decade onto that, and we're here with Balenciaga playing things relatively safe with another high-fidelity rose garden in a bottle, dry and fresh, lucid and light, with a piercing strength in spite of itself. À la Rose by Maison Francis Kurkdjian (2014) would come along two years later and really steal any thunder this scent might have had, switching out the stemmy green aromachemicals and mint for fruitier qualities that helped unleash a whole new generation of tart rose-fruit and candy-rose perfumes in the coming years (thanks Frank...). Meanwhile, Florabotanica hung out at counters unwanted and unloved except by those enthralled by its very Tim Burton-esque bottle, which I admit drew my eye as well. Folks either were mad or still are mad at Balenciaga anyway, so the perfume never stood a chance even if the brand wasn't so cut-throat about constant reinvention; now it will be another overpriced vaunted bauble for the influencer set. The latest scandal involving children holding teddy bears dressed in bondage gear tacks on another ten more years of nobody wanting their perfume, so if you enjoy this simple pleasure, better do it quietly. Thumbs up

Easily one of the best bottle designs in recent history - why oh why couldn't the fragrance be a bit more interesting?

The opening is weird and off putting - a bitter green herbal accord, followed by a blend of rose and mint. Kind of feels like two different fragrances, and the rose isn't particularly rosy - it's more synthetic, clean and washed-over. The florals sweeten up a bit, and later something slightly bitter or spicy lurks under them - maybe that's the carnation. I didn't enjoy smelling like this or wearing this - it just doesn't do anything for me. I also don't think I'm big fan of carnation. Such a shame - that bottle is fantastic.

The name of Florabotanica sums quite well how the perfume actually smells : flowers and green plants. Upon application, Florabotanica combines rose, carnation and some greenness. The rose is not overly sweet, but on the clean, fresh and green side. The carnation offers some bitterness. The mint contributes the greenness without giving out the chill cooling vibe like some sporty fragrances. During the wearing, I can also smell some white flowers like jasmine. However, it eventually returns to the initial combination and stays so firmly till the end.

The sillage is relatively close and the longevity is simply outstanding, 12h+. It's an understated and inoffensive scent with a steady structure. It certainly is not a masterpiece, but a well-made everyday fragrance for green floral lovers.

Edit: I recently tried Jardins d'Ecrivains Junky which features a very prominent cannabis note. Now I can also discern it in Florabotanica. However, here it only acts like a supporting role, lending an earthy vibe and preventing the fragrance becoming too clean, a very clever touch!

The Rose Garden at Wargemont - Pierre-Auguste Renoir

I can understand how might be well-composed, but it's just not my jam. The pleasant honeysuckle accord I get close to my skin keeps fragmenting into temple-achingly sweet aldehyde-coated soapy rose notes accented with raw alcohol burn. These hurt, and they feel insanely persistent. Overall, this feels wearing iridescent soap bubbles spiked with Everclear. Ouch.

My mother asked me for a bottle of perfume when asked what she'd like as a gift. She has worn most recently L'Eau D'Issey (which I find uninspiring) so I decided to find a better, more interesting alternative for her. Cue Florabotanica, I'm going to quote Luca Turin's review of this here as I can't say it better myself:

"Florabotanica manages to turn frumpy and cheap into frivolous and charming by doing to the floral what Philippe Starck did to upholstery when he took a Louis XVI chair, cast it as one piece of Lucite, and called it Ghost: bring forth something not particularly comfortable, but unquestionably witty and stylish."