Un Jardin sur le Nil
Hermès (2005)

Grapefruit and I have a rocky relationship, at least when it comes to my skin. While I love the taste and aroma, something happens where a grapefruit-forward fragrance will read as quite sulphurous and acrid when I wear it. The exception to this is Un Jardin Sur le Nil. Leave it to Jean Claude Ellena to make grapefruit "work" for me.

Opening bright and sour, juicy and sunny, its radiance on my skin is a summer salve. A tomato leaf that comes through a few minutes in begins to feel like a walk through a victory garden, all manners of vegetable and fruit, not quite yet ripe, still green, harbingers of a harvest on the vine. Then Ellena's usage of a cassis base with other elements does render the feel of an immature, tart mango.

Further into its heart, onward to its base, the grapefruit seems to seamlessly crossfade into an ever more watery, impressionistic floral, with a softer green, feeling more herbaceous over time. At a certain point, it feels as paced and still as a tea ceremony, with a breeze rustling some bamboo. It feels lucid down to its final traces.

Lathering hotel shampoo on a potted plant. Soapy carwash of a 2005 Mazda Tribute. Cracking black pepper on a Macy's employee

I spray it on every year thinking I might finally appreciate it, but it's just as sharp and cheap smelling as I remembered it being. Too bad...the bottle is the only pretty thing about it.

Mangos, tomato leaves, and carrot. It doesn't smell like V8, because the grapefruit brings it out of being too dense. As many have mentioned, Hermes' Garden line is like watercolour. It's transparent, clean, green, and a bit fruity. You're letting the whites of the smooth hot-pressed watercolor paper to shine through the green colours. With high quality paints like Daniel Smith watercolors to get the vibrant orange tone of the mango and carrot, and vibrant blue to capture other florals.

There's some layering of the notes to give it a blended smell, but it is never cloying or dense. It's not an acrylic or oil painting so it comes at the expense of longevity and performance.

This was one of my favourites from Hermes for being so green and calm, but I've moved onto other scents like Neon Graffiti from Jazmin Sarai and Viola from Fiele Fragrances for doing a better job portraying green notes. However, this is still a must-try. Give it a test at an Hermes boutique or a department store.

This is a classic for good reason. It is perfect in the summer, cutting through the heat. It doesn't last terribly long, probably a half day of intense heat, but reapplying it just makes you say, "aaaaaahhhhhh" and breathe in the goodness all over again. Summer stunner.

I'm bored by this kind of faded, wilting, always-just-so type of "chic". It leaves me cold. When I can smell it. So weak, so faint! Obviously that's precisely the appeal for a lot of people. It's evocative enough, pretty enough, well-made enough. And still, I just can't bring myself to care. A perfectly groomed brunette wallflower dressed in expensive linen and barely-there make-up. Perched on a cream couch, she looks out in the distance, through the window. The maids are pleased she's so easy to work for, never a temper tantrum, never anything not scheduled in advance. Always there at the kids' parent-teacher conferences. Always a faint smile, just discernible enough.