Vodka on the Rocks
Kilian (2014)

A fresh, cooling, borderline aquatic composition that's largely grounded in ambroxan. Easy to wear, anosmia-inducing at times, and just as easy to forget.

Kilian Vodka on the Rocks is neither a neutral grain spirit nor a cocktail nor worth $250…discuss.

So again, we are dealing with the element of suggestion in order to create an olfactory image that isn't there…and what better suggestion than something that is typically used as a base on which to build something greater? If you are ordering a vodka on the rocks, you're either an alcoholic or a freak like the rest of us on this website that can smell and taste things that others can't, or could care less about because…less face it…we're kind of weird. To everyone else it just tastes like burning. I don't think I could even say the words if someone asked me what I was wearing.

“Hey there person…you smell really good…what's it called?”

“Uh, non-descript white spirit with some ice floating around in there, maybe a lemon peel with part of the sticker still attached.”

“Mmm, that's hot.”

Kilian could have called it white paper or clean linen or even squeegeed window…same mental imagery mas y menos. And I'm sure people would say, “Oh yes I see where Hennessy's nose was going with this one, I can almost smell the horizontal blue lines on the paper, the perfectly placed three-ring binder holes, pre-determined left hand margins and I'm transported to sophomore year composition."

Get…bent. If I read another review that says it smells like a vodka tonic, I'll vomit Russo-Baltique all over my trapper keeper.

Ok, on to the fragrance…I like it. I like it a lot. It's a crowd pleaser and a wearer pleaser. Its approachable and easy. Compliment getter. Doesn't last long maybe 6 hours tops like an EDT. Smells like what you'd expect from Ambroxan, Sandalwood, Oakmoss and Coriander. Definitely synthetics which I'm not knocking. Super fresh and spice floral out the gate to a super fresh and cool woody vibe towards the end. It's a frag-bro “so fresh and so clean clean.” Smells like a nice designer fragrance in a blue bottle from Dillard's. I don't think it's any more complex than that. There's no secret in the sauce, just a good ol' standup freshy “man” clean scent.

And that's cool, just not $250 cool.

The opening is a realistic clear liquor for sure, though I actually get a bit more gin from it than I do vodka. Then quickly (and I mean within 15 minutes) a lot of synthetic notes come to the forefront. Aquatics, ambroxes, what have you. This could be an intentional transition, or it could be that the initial vodka impression they've created can only stay stable so long, and as it starts to unravel the synthetics used become more and more apparent.

By the 30 minute mark it's hard to tell this apart from a host of other designer freshies. Is it good for one of those? Yes. But, at nearly $6/ml the comparison is pretty embarrassing. This isn't an awful scent, but ultimately it smells similar to so many things that are a tenth of the price.

It opens with a strong alcoholic punch that is cool and tonic. I can smell the rose and lily of the valley, but unfortunately they're enveloped in a lot of ambroxan. It goes on the generic faux woody/amber/aquatic releases that pop into the market from everywhere. Poor release, extremely overpriced.

A super realistic opening. Smells just like vodka, ice & tonic. Then drys down to a bit of a generic aqua type scent maybe along the lines of ADG. Doesn't last very long. Totally overpriced.

Basically, a stronger Acqua di Gio for $300.

It's a study in chemicals - hedione and dihydromercenol for abstract freshness at first, quickly settling into calone, that smell of herbs growing in the salty dunes by a hot beach, eventually drying down to a vaguely melon-ish aquatic aromachemical stew.

This is pretty much exactly what Acqua di Gio does, but amplified.

It's a double-edged sword. AdG gets most of its charm from smelling artfully like a time and place more than a perfume. But by turning up the volume, Vodka On The Rocks clearly smells unabashedly artificial, wearing its chemistry on its sleeve in exchange for better projection, which I just don't personally think is worth it.