Woodlands
Bath & Body Works (2023)

Citrus, sage and cedar, rightly
Same note list as Forest, though
Try it, still, indeed you mightly
Pleasantries, I shall you show

Read components, rather listly
Butane straight and shaped like Y
Hydrofluorocarbon mistly
Don't dare huff, or you may die!

Or just buy the sweet colognely
Contents in that chunky glass
Drink not, lest they find alonely
Fragrant fool drunk on his ass

Should you choose to wear it proper
What, pray tell, will be in store?
You, like Red, may find showstopper
You, like Red, may buy some more

You, like Red, may smell the coum'rin
You may smell the limonene
You may smell the aging boom'r'in
Farmland fragrance fashion scene

Try this fougèrrific entrée
'Minding me of many men's
Curvy classic complimentrée
Perfume wardrobe denizens

Oh, the listed notes are there, boys
Sniff them out for all they're worth
I smell Prada in the nez noise
Sore to tempt me from my birth

I smell Prada carbonaceous
I smell Prada moonly Red
I small Prada quite tenacious
In the air around me head

Mainstream?  Yes, that sin's apparent
Though "designer", this may be
Work-wear-wise there's not much finer
BB Dubya fare for me

Let not any flagrant nonsense
Keep thee from this fragrant joy
Yea, this demigodly incense
Don't care if you're girl or boy

Buy the bloody candle, lassie
If you can't abide to wear
Manly ever-aftly gassie
Known to some as the fougère

Buy the body spray, young fellas
If you can't abide cologne
Join the fragrant Ebay sellas
Should you still be all alone

As for me, I'm counting that these
Lecture bottles of fine aire
Last so long as loving Lord please
From corrosion us to spare

After that, I leave to others
Only so-called poetry
Though I beg of future mothers
Raise your sons in liberty

Let them sniff the Pine-Sol cleaner
Let them smell the fragrant wax
Let their sense of scent grow keener
Honed upon the manly Axe

Let your daughters be perfumers
Though they fall far from your tree
Save them from those distant rumors
That there's things they cannot be

Off to Woodlands, back I'm bounded
Fellow fools and fragrant friends
One last point to which I've rounded
If neglected, here's amends

Bath & Body Works for many
Though I'm certain not for all
Feel no guilt if hardly any
Scents give you that fragrant call

Love the scents that leave you smiling
Love the scents that make you dance
Love the scents that have you dialing
Overseas for one last chance

Leave the scents that fail to move you
Leave the scents that bring no love
Leave the scents that do not give you
Certainty in things above

As for me, I thank my Maker
For this gift of Bathly taste
Paired with bargain basement Body
Precious few Works went to waste

Back I go, to redneck Woodlands
To you all, a fond farewell
Rest assured, I rust in Peace's
Blessing of amazing smell.